A Ragamuffin's Peace Giver

I have had quite a bit of anxiety and 'overwhelmedness' lately. Hence, the reason I haven't blogged in a while. The 'urgent' has been stealing my time away from the 'important'. This happens a lot to me. I feel so many things in my life are urgent. I sometimes live in the 'urgent mode'. Rush to finish this, rush to pay that, rush to go here, rush to go there.... rush, rush, rush! I'm being pulled in a million directions and spread so thin that there isn't enough of me to have any substance left. The anxiety and stress that I feel, leave me with feelings of inadequacy, guilt and hopelessness. What can I do to get out of this 'sense of urgency mode' and find some peace of mind and rest?

The answer is so simplistic, yet evades me so easily: Prayer and Priorities. Bible and Boundaries. Meditation and Moderation. It all goes back to dependence on the Peace Giver, himself. Going to Jesus and asking for guidance with my priorities. What does he want me to accomplish this day? What does he want me to say "no" to today? Oh... there's a dirty word: No. But Jesus practiced it when he was doing his earthly ministry. He had boundaries. He made time for prayer and quiet meditation and sought his Father's will continuously. He was not so caught up in the urgency of the needs of the people, that he did not do the important tasks the Father had given him to do. Even in regards to very close friends that he loved. He was given news that a dear friend Lazarus, whom he loved, the Bible says, was very sick and near death. Yet, he stayed where he was for two more days. He didn't drop everything and rush to his bedside to heal him. God had bigger plans. Lazarus died and was buried. His sisters must have thought Jesus had abandoned them. But the bigger plan was revealed when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and proclaimed, "I am the Resurrection and Life." Jesus prayed at the end of his short life of 33, "I have finished the work you gave me to do." Was everyone healed? No. Was everyone saved? No. But he had finished the work that God had given him to do. He had peace with that. He didn't have regrets about what he didn't get to do. He trusted the Father had bigger plans and rested in that fact, although anguished about the cross that was to come.

I guess I need to seek the Lord's will for the priorities of my life each day. Looking back on the urgency-mode and anxiety attacks I have had this past week, I tried to figure out what I could have done to prevent them. I needed a plan. I needed to evaluate my priorities. I needed quiet meditation before God to seek his will and receive strength from him. I needed to not be pulled into the bondage of the urgency that I felt when everyone was pulling me in every direction. I needed quiet dependence on the Lord. He wants me to come to him and be dependent on him. I believe that self sufficiency is one of the worst sins I can commit. Trying to do everything in my own strength is saying to God, "I don't need you, God. I can do it on my own." Being independent is how the world says we need to be. But Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." What a wonderful promise. So simple and yet so powerful.

Oh my Lord, I thank you for your word. It is light and life to me. I praise you for revealing my need to depend on you. Forgive me for being independent and thinking I can do it on my own, in my own strength. I know what happens then: I am pulled by anything and everything that calls out to me. Help me to know, that you have set the purpose and priorities in my life. I need to seek you to find what is really important compared to the urgency of the moment. You know me better than I know myself and you know what my boundaries are and what I am able to do. Please give me the wisdom to know that too. Help me daily to remember this: "Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." And, "I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don't let your hearts be troubled or afraid." Thank you, Lord for calming this anxious Ragamuffin's heart with your peace.

Thank you my Peace Giver,
Your Ragamuffin Girl.


Scripture References: Matt. 11:28 NIV, Philippians 4:6-7 NCV, John 14:27 NCV

The Path Maker and Love Note Giver

I saw another deer on my running trails again last night. She was a beauty, standing and staring at me down the darkened path. Both times I've been to my new running park, I have seen a deer. I usually go in the cool of the evening right before dusk, so maybe that's when they come out. Or maybe there are just an extra abundance of deer there and it is very common to see them. But I like to think of it as God's little 'love note' to me. He loves to surprise me with them from time to time. Just to show off his creation and let me know he's thinking of me. I take it very personally because after all, he is a personal God.

I love this park. It is so serene and peaceful by the lake and the trails are ideal for me to train for the 10k I'm doing this year. I would love to just sit and take in all the beauty there, like the full moon shining through the trees. But alas, I must keep going and run, so I will be fit for the big race. The trails are perfect for running. They are fairly straight, wide with soft dirt and some pine straw, and hardly any obstacles on them. I tried some other trails yesterday morning at another park someone told me about. They were not conducive to a runner whose name ironically means "grace". They were very narrow, hilly and filled with tree roots, sand and gravel. All not good for this runner's klutzy nature. I had to watch every step I took, determining I was sure-footed with each stride. I was so afraid I was going to fall. I prayed and sang as I ran and asked the Lord to keep me from falling and sustaining an injury. Fortunately he answered my prayers and I left after only 40 minutes, miraculously still intact. I told myself I would never run on those trails again!

Why did I want to try new trails, when I had already found the perfect running trails, and had even seen a deer on my very first visit? Maybe for adventure, or maybe I wanted to make sure I was using the very best ones. I had to compare. Whatever the reason, I learned my lesson; fortunately, not the hard way! And so last night I returned to the better trails and even received my little 'love note' from God, as if he was saying, "This is your path I've given you. Run the race here."

Why do I seem to sometimes want something better? Or make sure that I'm taking advantage of the very best there is to offer, only to find out it's not what I thought it would be? I need to take the path he's given me in this life. It doesn't always have to be the hardest one. He sometimes makes the path smooth and at times will give us love notes along the way, though not always. I was told there is a harder trail at this park. It is much longer and more difficult. I may have to take it sometime, but I know that it will eventually lead me back to the wider, less difficult path and to the peaceful serene lake, where the deer come to drink.

My dear Jesus, thank you for the love notes you give me on this path you have made and put me on. I've tried other paths at times and you've kept me from falling. Or when I have fallen, you have helped me up and put me back on the one you created for me. You are so faithful and give me the strength to keep going. And give me little surprises and the beauty of your creation and presence along the way! There may be some long and difficult paths ahead, but I won't worry about those now. I'm just going to do what you said and just take today's path, one sure-footed step at a time, singing along the way.

I love you my Path Maker and Love Note Giver,
Your Ragamuffin Girl.

To See Him More Clearly

I lost a contact lens last week. Some of you may have read about it on my facebook page. It was a gas perm lens, which is a hard lens that is not easily replaceable, like most disposable soft lenses are. And after searching all over the bathroom for it and even in the pipes just in case it went down the drain, I gave up the search. No lens found. I prayed and asked God to help me find it because I knew it would run up to $75.00 to replace it. I didn't find it, so I decided to try and order it online. I had the order pulled up and even put it in 'the shopping cart' ready to check out. All I had to do was to push a button to finish the transaction, but I waited for some reason. I thought, "can we afford this, right now?" And "which one did I lose anyway?" I think I had accidentally swapped the left and right, so I wasn't sure which one to order. So this week I've been wearing the one contact only or sometimes would wear a pair of my old soft lenses that I don't see well with at all. So I didn't have very good vision this week. I also have an almost deaf ear, so needless to say I felt like Helen Keller this week.

Fast forward to yesterday. I had a misunderstanding with a friend and took some things the wrong way and ended up crying a bit. (Not good when you're not seeing well already.) Everything turned out fine with my friend and I went to dinner with my husband. We parked on the street and had to put quarters in the parking meter. (A lot of them, I might add!) And as I was searching at the bottom of my purse for additional change, I felt something small and round. I picked it up and could not believe my cloudy, red eyes! It was my contact lens! I still can't believe it. It would be like finding the proverbial needle in the haystack. I have no idea how it got in there and do not remember my purse being near the sink when I popped out my contact. But because it wasn't on the floor, it didn't have a chance to get smashed by a shoe. Now I know my purse has everything in it, including the kitchen sink...but the bathroom sink as well?? ;) I am still in shock. I wondered why God had answered my prayer on this night, particularly after the misunderstanding incident. And how he protected it by it not being on the floor. (It is in perfect condition, all I had to do was clean and disinfect it.) He also kept me from ordering the replacement. He is so good! But why didn't he let me find it right after I lost it? Why on this night? I had to think and pray on this one.

I believe the Lord is intimately involved in the details of our lives. I don't believe in chance or coincidences. I think he is not too big of a God to see his children's needs or use something like this as a life lesson. Maybe during the week I really wasn't 'seeing' things clearly in my mind. Maybe I didn't see God's hand in some situations and kind of gave up hope on some things. Maybe after the incident with my friend was cleared up, God was trying to tell me, "Now you are seeing things with clarity," and he was giving me hope in my Ragamuffin life. Or it could have been for me to know that he does answer prayer - in his time and according to his will. Or maybe he is reminding me to see him more clearly, seeking his face, day by day. In any case he showed me how precious I am to him and how he cares about the smallest details in our lives.

I praise you Father for helping me to see things more clearly - literally and spiritually. And to care about the seemingly 'unimportant' things in our lives. Because if you care about those things, how much more do you care about the major issues that we haven't gotten a resolution for yet? And to give us hope that you are working all things together for good to those that love you, even while our hope is waning and our spiritual vision is very cloudy. Help us to see you and your love for us more clearly, day by day.

Oh how I love you,
Your Ragamuffin girl

Scriptural References: Romans 8:24, 28; John 9:25; Psalm 105:4

Looking for Rainbows, Finding His Presence

There was a big storm tonight with lightning, thunder, and we even had some small hailstones. Then it poured heavily for a short time. After the rain stopped, I had to go somewhere in my car. As I was driving I noticed light peeking through the clouds, and I got excited! I knew what it meant: rainbow weather! I love rainbows and always look for them after a storm when the sun rays peek out from behind the clouds. So I started looking. Well I knew I couldn't look while driving (not a good idea :), and besides there were too many trees blocking the view of the whole sky. So I went to my favorite place where I watch sunsets, and I watched for rainbows instead.

I had a big open view of the entire sky. I saw a clearing in the white fluffy clouds where the light from the sun came through. And I saw the dark storm clouds to the south and east. But no rainbow. I prayed, "Lord, you know I love rainbows. Please give me a rainbow." I watched and waited. Where would it be? I stood outside my car, head uplifted, and I slowly turned in circles anticipating the brilliant colors. No rainbow. As I turned and watched, I begin praising the Lord with song and praying for loved ones. And all my senses became keenly aware of His presence. The cool breeze blew in my face and hair. The fresh aroma of the cleansed air filled my lungs. The song of the birds to announce the end of the storm played in my ears. And looking at lightning in the distant storm clouds, I saw the beauty and majesty of the Lord, even without a rainbow. Then I tasted and saw that the Lord was good. (Psalm 34:8)

Sometimes we expect rainbows after a storm, and they just don't happen. I've never seen a rainbow when I looked for one. It has always been a surprise. Maybe God loves to surprise us, when we least expect it. I love surprises. So I will wait for him to surprise me. But he brought me safely through the storm and revealed himself to me in his way, not mine.

Thank you Lord, for showing me your presence after the storm, even without a rainbow. You see us through storms in this life and then you show us your presence, in your way and your time. I know there will be times for rainbows, and you will give us those times exactly when you know it is best for us. But in the meantime, we praise you anyway for the freshness of your presence after bringing us through the storm.

I love you my dear Lord,

Your Ragamuffin Girl.

I Give Them To You - In Your Time

Dear Father,

I'm so burdened by the needs of my loved ones. Friends and family that have so much on them that they are weary. Please help them, Lord. There are so many needs such as jobs, houses, cars, clothing, physical, mental and emotional healing. They need You. Spiritual healing from You.

I know you promised to not give more than we could bear, but sometimes it seems so overwhelming that it feels like more than we can bear. Help us to have faith in what you have told us in your Word. That you are with us, no matter what. That you love us with an everlasting and an unfailing love, no matter what we feel. That you are causing all things to work together for our good for those that love you and are called for your purposes.

Help us to look to you first to meet our needs, but use your children (including me!) to brighten the day of someone who is hurting. Help me not to be so caught up in my hurt and needs, to neglect the needs of my fellow brother or sister. It usually brightens my day to be used by you anyway!

Thank you for being sovereign, Lord and answering these prayers, in Your time. You make all things beautiful, in Your time. I sing that to You today.
Your Ragamuffin Girl.

In His Time
Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9ajCFo5j9Q&feature=related

A Dark and Frightening Path

The picture above was taken in a tunnel in Central Park, New York, just recently. My daughter and I were in the park exploring when we came across it. We were on a wide, well lit path and then found this dark tunnel. The flash of the camera makes it look lighter, when actually it was very dark, except for a small yellow light in the center. It was frightening, but we were attracted to it for aesthetic reasons and wanted to take some interesting photos. The tunnel would have been even more scary if we weren't with each other. You could barely see to the other side. We didn't know where it would take us. But we walked through it anyway. We sang in it and yelled in it and listened for our echoes. We enjoyed our journey.

This is a wonderful illustration of my journey in this life, and perhaps even yours. I'm pretty safe on the well lit path, just doing the status-quo. But then I come to a dark and frightening path that leads through a tunnel. I've never been there before and don't know if it's safe or what's on the other side. Then I realize I am not alone, God is right here with me... and I trust. I don't know why he's put this dark path on my journey, but I trust him and press on. If I am quiet and still enough, I can hear His still small voice echoing in my ears and His song playing in my heart: "I am with you always...I will never leave you nor forsake you... I am the light of the world..."

Oh my Father, I praise you that even though I come across dark and frightening times on this journey, that you are with me and watching over me. Instead of taking me around them, you sometimes choose to take me through them. I don't always understand it and certainly don't always enjoy it, if ever. But you are there in the dark with me and I trust you. You have a purpose for these dark, lonely times and I trust you to bring me safely to the other side. But you also want me to have joy in the journey. Just like one of my favorite songs by Michael Card, "Joy in the Journey." Thank you, dear Lord for being a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and giving me joy on this journey of life down here. I love you, my Jesus.
Your Ragamuffin Girl.

Scripture references: Matthew 28:20, Joshua 1:5, John 8:12, Psalm 119:105

Michael Card
"Joy in the Journey":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khrxWs05JSY

Running

Thank you for giving me the strength to run today at the gym. I want to feel your pleasure when I run, like Eric Liddell did in 'Chariots of Fire'. Thank you for giving me scripture to say as I ran. Running is so much like life. I hurt running today. My legs ached and side ached. But I had to keep going, remembering it is a marathon, not a sprint. Slow and steady. Just keep on running toward the goal. You brought Philippians to my mind as I ran. I love chapter 3 where it says, 'I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus'. And in Hebrews 12:1-2, 'Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...'  Help me to do that, Lord. Set my eyes on you in this life and keep on keeping on. You also brought to my mind, 'I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead'. Like the song, 'Knowing You'. I do want to know you. I feel like I have shared/am sharing in your sufferings and death. It does feel like death, what we have been through. So I pray now we can experience the resurrection from the dead and the new life you have for us, even down here. You are so good to me to bring those scriptures to mind. Help me focus on you today as I run the race you set before me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGbuz8QuhmE

The Gospel of John

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to watch "The Gospel of John". I love to watch the verbatim scripture of John come to life. It encouraged me so much last night when I needed you so desperately. I love the man who plays you, Lord. He seems so realistic and what I would picture you to have been like. He smiled. I'm sure you did too. My favorite part was when you prayed for your disciples and me too! You said in John 17:24 that you want me to be with you and to see you in your glory. You want me, Lord? Thank you Jesus. The Father gave me to you and you want me to be with you. I am blown away by your love! And you want the love that the Father has for you, to be in me. Does this mean that God loves me as much as he loves you, Lord? I cannot even comprehend that kind of love. It's not anything I've done. I'm just a ragamuffin sinner. It's all because of YOUR righteousness. There is NO good thing in me. Thank you Lord for your word and help me to stay in it to grow in you and be strong.

Your Ragamuffin Girl